You won’t be here in 100 years from now… so why is life so serious?

We get tangled up in our everyday lives, that it is easy to miss the point… the point of life.

We take everything personally… we take everything seriously… we begin to think that every little thing is ultra important… even though we probably won’t even remember these things a year from now!

And when everything is important, when everything is serious, when everything is personal… we lose that spark of what life is meant to be.

Watch this video to learn more:

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Why you need to start on your life goals right now

Almost everybody I speak to tells me they have a goal in life… something bigger than right now.

They also tell me “They will start when….”

When they get a promotion, when they have the time, when they have just sorted the current situation… when, when, when…

Here is why you SHOULDN’T wait until “when”

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How to make a positive impact on everyone you meet

I always used to get very anxious about wanting to make a good impression with everyone I met.

My anxiety made me nervous, sleepless and stopped me being my natural self.

Then I learnt about the tactics I share in this video… They REALLY helped me and maybe they can help you improve your impact with others also (even if your don’t suffer from anxiety)

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The uncomfortable (but powerful) truth of being able to show vulnerability

When we see vulnerability in others, we are drawn to it… we support it and we even follow it.

Yet when we think of showing vulnerability ourselves, we shudder at the thought. We believe it makes us weak.

Being able to be vulnerable has real power… in life and leadership… here is why (inspired by Brene Brown):


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Feel Trapped? It’s time to get out…!

I speak to so many people who say they feel trapped in the life they currently lead.

They feel they can’t improve their lives or have big dreams because they are stuck.

Stuck in their environment, stuck with their circumstances, stuck with Okay.

Here are my thoughts on that:


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Will you reach your potential in 2018?

2018 can be your year.

2018 can be the year you transform your life.

2018 can be the year you reach your potential.

To make 2018 your best year yet, you will have to work hard. You will have to except disappointments and learn from them. You will have to push harder than you have ever pushed before.

This year won’t happen for you by magic… Life simply doesn’t work like that.

But if you act with humility, determination and focus, you can achieve ANYTHING you desire.

Keep pushing forward… Keep on learning… 2018 is yours for the taking.


How to ease anxiety

I suffer from anxiety.

To varying degrees, I think we all do or have…

“Don’t believe every worried thought you have. Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate”

Renne  Jane

Those moments, when your mind freaks out, you worry, you stress and your behaviours signal distress – sometimes about big things, sometimes about small things and sometimes about anything.

If you suffer from anxiety, especially if it is affecting the quality of your life, then it might be appropriate to seek professional help. Anxiety can be very serious and debilitating to those who suffer with it – so if that sounds like you, get help. There is no shame in helping yourself become the best version of you!

If you are not at that stage yet, but you would like some advice, then read on… I offer this advice to you as a friend and as a fellow sufferer of anxiety, who has found great benefit from the following:

I ask myself better questions…

Our brains are amazing, wonderful, creative and powerful things. Our brains decide on our behaviours, approach and attitude and what I have found is that if you ask your brain a question, it will figure out a way to answer it.

So when we are feeling a specific way (let’s say anxious) our internal dialogue will have a narrative that confirms those emotions.

We can change our internal dialogue by asking our brains better questions… so we get better answers and more helpful, supportive emotions.

I have 2 strategies I would recommend:

Positive re-frame

In basic terms this means focusing your mind on an assumption of a positive outcome – ask yourself

self-talk-words-reframe-Tara-Moore-The-Image-Bank-56a906473df78cf772a2ebab“What would I have to do to be a strong, capable and confident person in this situation?”

Give yourself time to answer – don’t expect a musical instantly. You have to allow your mind to focus on the positive aspects of the question and then work out an answer…. and your mind WILL work out an answer!

In completing this process you will have re-framed your entire focus onto a positive set of behaviours and emotions. Your anxiety will fade under the weight of these new ideas and concepts you have opened up in your mind.

Identify and Reality Check

The first step is Identify – What this means is you have to question why you feel the way you do.

In my experience of anxiety, I normally feel that way for one of the following:

hqdefaultWorry I will lose something – that a poor performance or result will dramatically impact my future in a negative manner. So lose my credibility, job, reputation, bonus… the list is endless!
A worry that I am just not good enough – That people won’t like me or think I am capable.
A fear of anxiety itself – Sometimes I would get anxious because I was fearful that I would get anxious – which resulted in a never-ending circle of anxiety.

Once I have Identified, then I can Reality Check – which involves asking better questions, such as:

“Are these things true?” (eg will a poor result actually result in my entire life being ruined forever?)

“What would I do if I knew I was as clever, smart and capable as everyone else?” (this question can be adapted to each identification, e.g. … if I knew this result didn’t matter? This is another way to positive re-frame)

“What one small thing can I do that will improve myself by 1% today?” (this allows you to take smaller more manageable steps and provides much needed momentum, motivation and confidence)

Final Thoughts

When I share this advice with people I get two different types of reactions, spit 50-50 – those that love the concept and jump in or a more reserved reaction with the odd suspicious look – “It can’t be that simple can it?” or “That can’t work surely?” are often uttered by those more sceptical individuals.

If you fall into the latter, I get it…it is perfectly understandable to think this. The great news is it doesn’t matter if you believe or not – what does matter is that you try it.

You see no matter if you believe me or not, the fact remains your brain is awesome and it will come up with an answer to the questions you give it. So by asking better questions, you will get better answers and this will improve you.

Please remember anxiety can be very serious, if this is the case please seek professional help. My advice is based on my personal experience and is offered as a friend, but if your anxiety is hurting the quality of your life, then get help – It can be soothed, you can overcome it and there is no point living with something that does not serve you.

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Stress is literally killing us – here are 4 simple ways to reduce it.

Stress – It doesn’t need an introduction.

It is spreading around the world like an epidemic… The chances are you have been affected by it in your life… Almost all of us have.

High levels of stress release a hormone called Serotonin in your body.

This hormone creates the ‘fight or flight’ sensation – It is a part of our biology, so when we are presented with real danger, our bodies and mind are ready to fight off the danger or run away from it. It was only designed to be used infrequently and in moments of life threatening danger.

This hormone, when activated, switches off all none essential functions in your body.

Here are some of the things that get switched off when you feel stressed:

Your immune system
Your creativity
Your digestive system
Your memory retrieval
Your physical growth

As you can clearly see, these elements are critical factors in the long-term ability to be a healthy human being.

When we understand that high stress causes high levels of Serotonin to be pumped through our bodies, all of the time, it’s easy to identify why stress is literally killing us.

“No amount of anxiety can change the future. No amount of regret can change the past.”

Karen Salmansohn

If you, like me, have been affected by stress, here are 4 simple ideas that can help:

Remove yourself from the situation

imagesThe power of physically removing yourself from the situation and going for a walk… in nature if possible…. cannot be underestimated. The act of getting away, even just for half an hour, acts as an emotional and intellectual reset.

Give your brain some air and some space.

The fact of the matter is your brain can answer any question you give it… what you need to do is ensure you are asking the right questions. When you are in the moment, with all the stress factors surrounding you, it is difficult to know what the right questions are… never mind try to answer them.

Go for a walk in nature. Give your mind some time, space and air. Just enjoy the experience. When you return, you will feel less stressed – therefore will have ‘switched on’ those internal systems you need, like creativity.

Here is my challenge to you – if you think this strategy is just wishful thinking or that you don’t have the time – then test it… go for a one hour walk in nature today… what have you got to lose?

If I am right… imagine what you might gain.

Focus on what is REALLY important

Stress, in the main, is caused by lots of little things that all feel very urgent.

We often mistake urgency for importance and therefore are bound to feel stressed, because pretty much everything is urgent these days!

There is a theory that 20% of the tasks you have to do in any given situation, will deliver 80% of the results you desire. So… if you have a ‘To-Do list’ of 10 actions, 2 of these will deliver 80% of the results you want… leaving the other 8 actions with only 20% of the outcome you need.

Do you know what the 20% of important actions are in your life? Because when you do, and once you take action on them, 80% of your stress will be removed.

Take some time out to figure out what is the most important 20% in your life – then start taking action towards these things first.

Take action, even when you don’t feel like it

“There is just so much to do…. I don’t know where to start.”

I hear this so often when working with people under high levels of stress. The bottom line is, this approach is not serving you.

Taking action will serve you.

If you have managed to identify the important 20%, then work on this… but even if you haven’t – start taking action… any action is better than no action at all.

When we are stressed, we don’t see the value in the small steps forward – we want a magic wand to sort it all out. Unfortunately, there is no magic wand and there is rarely a quick fix.

Think of this metaphor… The person is who wants to lose weight and get fit.

If this person goes on the scales after one gym session and a healthy breakfast, they will be disappointed… there won’t be any difference. In fact they probably still won’t notice a difference after a week of gym sessions and healthy eating either.

But those little actions DO make a difference… In fact they make ALL the difference!

Do you think that person will notice a difference after two weeks? A little maybe… how about a month? How about a year?

Of course there will be a massive difference – It is simple, but true.

This is the same with stress.

Take positive action consistently. You might not notice the difference immediately… but over time the transformation will become dramatic!

So, when you don’t know what action to take or don’t feel like taking action is worth it… do it anyway. Keep on taking positive action everyday.

Soon those small actions will build momentum – and momentum will make you unstoppable!

Create and use a support network

You are not alone.

stock-photo-large-group-of-people-seen-from-above-gathered-together-in-the-shape-of-two-hands-reaching-out-each-255266638You are not the only person to have experienced this level of stress.

Don’t face it alone. Today we are more connected than ever before, so we should use this to our advantage! Connect with other people who are facing similar struggles… or even better, connect with those that have overcome them!

Together we are stronger.

Seek out like-minded people who can support you, who can challenge you and who will need you to do the same. There are so many sources of information, inspiration, groups, coaches, networks out there – use them.

The strength of knowing that you are not alone, the power you gain from knowing that it can be overcome is immeasurable. You have access to this at your finger-tips:

Watch inspirational videos
Join discussion groups
Meet with follow professionals in your sector
Get a coach
Get a mentor
The list goes on…. just get some support!

Putting it all together:

Stress stops everything. It stops important internal processes and it stops you making good decisions and taking positive action.

Don’t let it. You can take control… Remove yourself from the situation, get some fresh air and fresh perspective. Work out what 20% of tasks you need to do to remove 80% of the stress levels.

TAKE ACTION and build momentum… And finally don’t forget to get some support – You are better working with others, allow yourself to be the best version of you.

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