Feel tired? How to relax and re-charge

Many of us have so much going on in our lives that we find it hard to switch off… and therefore we never quite get the rest we need so constantly feel tired and worn down.

I know I did…

If you sometimes feel like this, here are 4 ideas that can help you switch off and relax, so that you can properly re-charge and feel your best again:

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Simply the best leadership book for those people progressing into their first leadership role.

Advice from over 300 leaders, in over 30 separate sections, so you can just pick-up and read the advice you need, when you need it… without having to read the whole book!

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You won’t be here in 100 years from now… so why is life so serious?

We get tangled up in our everyday lives, that it is easy to miss the point… the point of life.

We take everything personally… we take everything seriously… we begin to think that every little thing is ultra important… even though we probably won’t even remember these things a year from now!

And when everything is important, when everything is serious, when everything is personal… we lose that spark of what life is meant to be.

Watch this video to learn more:

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Simply the best leadership book for those people progressing into their first leadership role.

Advice from over 300 leaders, in over 30 separate sections, so you can just pick-up and read the advice you need, when you need it… without having to read the whole book!

BUY IT HERE NOW!

 

Great leadership is made up with the small things, that you probably don’t even think about.

Am I always asked “what is great leadership?”

And if I am honest, this can be a complex question to fully answer, as each leader (and follower) has differing perspectives and approaches.

But there are some basic things that followers want and need…. and followers are the people who decide if you are a great leader or not!

These things can seem small, but do have a big impact on the way followers think and feel about your leadership… Do these and you are on the path to becoming a great leader:

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Expert advice from over 300 leaders across the globe. An essential buy for new leaders everywhere.  BUY IT HERE NOW

Beating Depression

It is at this time of year that I tend to reflect on my life more than usual – I think deeply about who I have been, who I am now and why.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was a very different person than I am now – In fact, almost three years to the day I was lost… lost in the fog and mist of depression.

You might know about my story, I have mentioned it in other posts… how I used to smoke 40 cigarettes a day, 50lbs overweight and utterly miserable – these were just the outward signals of the dark disease which was growing inside me.

I cannot accurately describe how I felt during this time… it was as though a cruel, oppressive and hurtful entity had been absorbed in every pore of my body and mind.

It felt separate from the “real” me, yet it was all consuming. I felt like I was drowning. It was scary and there didn’t seem like there was anyway out.

However there was a way out. I did escape, I haven’t fallen back, I never will – and I learnt some important lessons:

  1. Depression is very real and has to be taken very seriously. It is a disease and we should treat anyone caught in the midst of it with the same compassion and care as we would with any other physical disease.
  2. It is possible to recover from this disease.

If you have been caught by depression, please get some professional help – I can offer my advice on how I recovered and hopefully it can help – however, nothing can beat professional support, especially if depression’s claws are in deep.

The way I managed to free myself will sound simple – I decided I had to change and I started taking positive actions everyday.

I realise this will sound over simplistic and unrealistic, but it is true – I was in a desperate situation – I had to change, otherwise the consequences would have been the darkest possible.

When I made the decision it felt impossible. I had no idea what to do or where to start – what possible action could solve something as big as depression?

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The thing is that is what depression wants you to think – depression wants to grow – and the perfect conditions to grow are in a static, absorbed and defeated individual..

On the contrary… I found that depression cannot grow when positive action is consistently taking place.

Success is “consistency”

It is not about one grand action that will rid you of depression forever. That is unrealistic and will make you give up when it doesn’t happen immediately.

Instead it is about momentum – lots and lots of small but positive actions to improve your situation. They can be tiny steps, but when you keep on adding more and more, the momentum becomes unstoppable.

Going for a walk in nature, writing down some goals, making the call, reading the chapter of a book, meeting with friends, seeking professional help and applying for a job… keep taking small actions.

None are the antidote to depression on its own, but together they will slowly remove the conditions for depression to grow.

As the momentum builds, so will you and so will your mind – The fog will start to lift and the oppression will be defeated.

Take positive action – any action, no matter how small… just do it consistently, don’t expect immediate results and you can change your life… I did.

Become free of the limitations you create

Joy and energy are items that can be attained – they are powers that are always inside you. The trick is finding out how to unlock these powers.

When you do, it will transform your life forever.

However, this is not a simple process. You will have to be prepared to look within yourself and work to release all the blocks and barriers that you have created throughout your life.

It is worth it though, because when you do, you and can experience absolute joy and fulfilment.

If you desire ultimate joy and freedom, then you will need to break down the following barriers:

Fear

Fear gets in the way of your dreams and goals.

You have to identify your deepest fears and then clearly surrender them. They do not serve you and your fear is a choice. Let go of fear.

Guilt

What do you blame yourself for?

You have to accept the reality that these things happen. You cannot let guilt cloud and poison your life. You cannot change the past and if you genuinely want to be a positive influence on the world – you have to forgive yourself.

Willpower

How have you let yourself down? What mistakes have you made?

It is vital that you accept and allow all aspects of yourself – even the mistakes and disappointments. Understand them, learn from them, then let go of them… they do not define you now.

Grief

Lay all of your grief out in front of you – in whichever form it takes.

Realise that love never leaves… never. You have to allow the pain to float away and re-birth love.

Love never leaves, it just changes form – allow this.

Denial

Be honest – what are the lies you tell yourself? What are the rules of life you create to protect yourself?

It is important to embrace your own nature and be happy in your own skin. You are imperfect, but that is okay – you don’t have to hide away or put on a mask – embrace the authentic you.

Connection

We are all connected, but often we see through divided eyes. Open your eyes and recognise that we are all the same – we all struggle.

When you can truly see we are all one life, you can understand others’ struggles, you won’t judge and you will be able to forgive – because you will see yourself in everyone.

Putting it all together

You have the power to live a life of ultimate joy and happiness – it is within you. Look deep within, release the barriers and become the best version of you.

Like this post? Then get my FREE ebook that will help you become the best version of you & design your destiny CLICK HERE NOW!

How to believe in people again

Almost everyone has, at some point, been hurt, rejected, dismissed and treated badly. When this happens many of us then find it hard to believe and trust in people again.

If you have ever felt like this, then here are 4 strategies that will allow you to stay positive and get the best out of all of your relationships... Even if it seems as though you are surrounded by people who have hurt you, let you down or broken your heart.

Trust is a biological need

The science is clear… Trust and connection are critical factors in human existence. This is not my opinion, this is proven scientific fact. We are literally biologically forced to connect with others, because we are stronger together.

If you allow a few people to make you lose faith in that, then you are only hurting yourself.

Branding the entire human race as cruel and nasty because of a few people is ridiculous. Think about it… there are 7 billion people on this planet – all of which have a biological need to connect with others. Don’t let a couple of idiots ruin your perception of how many great people there are in the world.

Acknowledge people are just like you

everyoneWe only ever get to see our perspective of life and it is easy to think we are alone in our struggle. The truth is everyone struggles.

Some find it hard just to get through the day, others are frustrated because they can’t chase their dreams, many are worried about how they can support their families, scared of what others think about them. The lists are endless, but the ultimate truth is that everybody is struggling somehow.

It is so important that you understand this. If you ever get to a place where you think your situation is so special and unique that nobody can ever understand you – You are in a bad place and, more importantly, you are wrong. You have more in common with others than you realise.

By saying that nobody could ever understand you, all you are doing is freezing yourself out of relationships.

If you freeze yourself out, then nobody will understand you because you won’t let them, NOT because they can’t. That is your doing… not theirs.

Stop building walls

Once you have been hurt, it is tempting to create emotional barriers and walls to stop you getting hurt again.

Been hurt in love? Create barriers that make it difficult for you to fall in love again… so in theory, you won’t get hurt again.

Hopefully you can see the problem with this tactic. Barriers and walls stop you feeling positive and wonderful emotions. Emotions you need and desire.

Barriers and walls keep the bad guys out, but they also fend off the good guys too.

Walls solve nothing, they just deny you what you want most and they also hurt other people… good people.

The brave thing to do is to brake down your walls and allow yourself to live. I can’t promise you that you will never get hurt again, but by allowing those positive emotions in, it does mean you will experience 10x the love, joy, happiness and trust than you would if you lock everything out.

Most people have walls… break down yours, break down theirs… with love, with joy, with trust and your life will become abundant.

Birds of a feather

141159769539890017_cyh5thwj_cThis last strategy is so simple, but also the most effective – Remove negative people from your life and increase the amount of positive people.

Positive people are supportive, caring and helpful… There are billions of these types of people across the world, literally billions!

They will help you grow, develop and become the best version of you, so seek them out.

Yes there are mean people in the world, but they are not the majority… You don’t have to have them in your life. It is a choice, make one that improves the quality of your life.

Putting it all together

There are mean people and when you get hurt, it is tempting to turn your back on the world and lose trust in people.

Don’t, mean people are in the minority.

You have a biological need to connect with others – If you deny yourself this, you are only hurting yourself.

You are not the only person who is struggling. Understanding this truth will allow you to have more empathy for those around you.

Stop building walls – You deny yourself the emotions you most desire when you create barriers – don’t deny yourself love, joy, happiness and trust.

Choose to build relationships with positive people. There are loads of them out there!

Never, Never Be Afraid To Do What Is Right – M L King

Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther-King – They are great people who have etched their names in history books for standing up for what they believed in and they helped change the world in the process.

572990aeaa13a-fullWe are told powerful stories about special individuals who changed the course of the world by standing against status quo – sometimes facing unsurmountable odds, yet ultimately winning though.

We are told everyone has this power. We are told we too can change the world if our resolve is strong enough… but can we?

I mean these stories sound compelling, yet in your life right now, can you make a stand? Let’s start small… can you go up against the boss at work and not damage your career?

Going a bit bigger… Can you legitimately challenge those in positions of authority, such as politicians, without being removed or arrested?

I think we can, but not in the way the stories would lead you to believe.

Standing up for what you believe in is not a single event, it’s a way of living – It would be impossible to make a huge stand for what you believe to be right in one moment, if your actions in the past didn’t back you up.

Standing up for what is right, is living what is right. It is in your everyday behaviours and actions.

1. Clearly understand what you believe in
2. Share this with everyone
3. Make sure everything you do is linked to this

So if you passionately believe in ‘being honest’ … then communicate this value simply and with clarity… then follow it up by making sure you always tell the truth!

It is a simple example, but hopefully it demonstrates the power of being able to stand up for what you believe in – because if this is how you live your life, then it is easy to challenge the status quo when needed, because everyone will expect it!

This of course has it’s challenges, but what it allows you to be is authentic, strong and value led.

If you don’t live your life by these rules, then you will end up living your life by someone else’s. That is the opposite of standing up for what is right.

Be the best version of you – stand up for you believe in… stand up for what is right.

What the world needs now, is enlightened leadership – Do you measure up?

To become the best leader you can be, you will need to be brave enough to put your current leadership up against a mirror.

However, most leaders don’t bother. They think there is little else to learn… They are wrong.

Last weekend I had the privilege to speak at a conference about motivation and as always I stuck around to see the whole event. I was struck by this companies culture, they were progressive, enabling and it appeared as though they had a highly engaged team. They challenged their leadership culture openly – with the desire to improve as the main priority.

This demonstration of leadership behaviours highlighted an unconformable truth. Cultures and leaders like this are rare…. Really rare.

How many senior leaders do you know that openly practise and develop their understanding of the science of human motivation?

They are literally an endangered species.

 

“Enlightened leadership is awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, compassion and also intuition, creativity and focused attention”

Deepak Chopra

Even in our enlightened world, the most common approach you will experience from a leaders is, “This is want I need from you.”

Most leaders ask for more, demand more, without giving to their employees. Leaders want more, faster, cheaper and they want it now.

Sometimes they might even throw in a financial incentive (Which has been proven to worsen performance when partaking in complex tasks – as proven by hundreds of social science experiments!)

So think about this for a moment – Most leaders will ask their followers for improved performance and then provide them with an incentive that is a performance inhibitor!

Now take a look at your own leadership – Is your approach a “this is what I need from you” one? Do you provide your followers with tools and strategies that support or inhibit them? How do you even know?

The world is changing and so are followers. Back in the time of the dinosaurs, a leader was seen as powerful and strong if they demanded more. Dinosaurs are extinct and so should be that type of leader.

Followers are demanding a new type of leader. A leader who is enlightened, a leader who understands social science, who understands intrinsic motivation and has the approach of “This is what I will be for my followers.”

The absolute final truth about your leadership ability is in the hand of your followers. It is the ONLY factor that counts – Your followers decide if you are a leader, nobody else.

As a follower – What type of leader would you want to be lead by?

You will find that your answer gives you clues to the leader you need to become.

What is leadership, if it is not about creating the optimum environment for followers to be successful?

Think about YOUR leadership –  Do you demand more from yourself in providing the conditions for your followers to flourish?

Be a true leader, be a progressive leader… be an enlightened leader. It is what the world needs now.

Get my FREE Design Your Destiny book here and start your journey to success today!