The top ten excuses to give up on your goals

When you have big goals, you will know bringing them to life is hard work. Often it is easier to tell ourselves our goals are not achievable. Often we tell ourselves we should compromise.

If you have a goal you are finding difficult to move forward, here is a list of the best excuses you can use to give up… Of course, I have also added my thoughts to why you should never quit with these excuses.

1. My goals are unrealistic

Good! Being realistic is the fastest way to becoming average! Anybody who ever achieved anything of note was unrealistic… That is how progress is made. Congratulations, you have joined a very special club of people. People who can change the world around them!

2. I am not good enough

This is probably true… You might have some natural talent, but it will only take you so far. The only way ANYONE gets to be ‘good enough’ is hours and hours of practice. If you are not good enough right now, practise harder, longer and more consistently than ever before. Over time you WILL become good enough.

3. Other people will think I am stupid

woman-saying-no1Other people will ridicule you, laugh at you and tell you you can’t (they will even do this when you have achieved your goals!!). At the end of your life, will you measure success based on how bland and average you were or will you measure success on achieving your potential?

If you want to be bland, give up on goals now, don’t do anything worth any attention. If you want your life to be measured on what you contributed… Then you know you can’t quit.

4. I don’t know what to do

If this is your excuse, you are probably accurate. What the most successful people in the world do in this situation is simple. If they don’t know what to do, they find out! There are so many people out in the world who are living out your goals, find out what they did, copy them!

5. I will probably fail

Yep… this will most likely turn out to be correct. The bottom line is, people who achieve massive success have failed more times than you. The difference between success and failure is that the successful learn from failure. They recover from failure. They keep taking action until they they don’t fail, they take action until they win.

Failing is inseparable from success. You just have to choose how you will face failure… If you want to achieve your goals, then embrace failure, learn from it and become better from it.

6. I don’t have the time

“To busy is a myth. People make time for the things that are really important to them.”

Mandy Hale

This is simply not true. If you MUST do something, then you WILL do it. If you don’t have the time, it is because it is not a MUST… instead it is a SHOULD. The difference between must’s and should’s is the fracture between taking the action you need and letting other stuff get in the way.

If you don’t think you have the time ask yourself this “If someone put a gun to my head and told me I had to take action on my goals, would I find the time?”.

When things become a MUST, those things happen.

7. It is not perfect yet

This is just another way of saying “I will probably fail”. There is no perfect time, there is no perfect moment. You have to create the time, you have to create the moment. This will ultimately mean there is a risk of failure involved. Embrace it, learn from it and become better from it.

8. I don’t have the resources

pragmatic-resourceful-educator-life-skillsPlease refer back to excuse number 6, about MUST’s and SHOULD’s. You can generate and manifest more than you can imagine.

Please don’t take offence to the following question: If your closest loved one needed an operation in six months or they would die and it cost half a million dollars/pounds, would you raise the money?

Of course you would, you probably have no idea how, but you wouldn’t stop until you did it. Now take away the horrible situation. You have the capacity to raise half a million in six months! Don’t say you don’t have the resources!

9. I have already tried and it didn’t work

The difference between winners and losers is that winners keep on going until they win. Losers will try, fail and then stop. It is impossible to succeed without failing, winners know this! Losers don’t stick around to find out!

10. I need to earn a living, so can’t chase my goals just yet

Chasing your goals doesn’t mean you have to give up your job, just yet! Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, didn’t quit his place in Harvard until one year after Microsoft had become a world wide success! If chasing your dreams, while keeping your job is good enough for people like Bill Gates, it is good enough for you!

If you practise, practise and practise achieving your goals and keep on learning and getting better, after a few years you will be in the top 2% in the world at what you do.

There is a massive amount of money available for anyone who is in the top 2% in the world at what they do! Do what it takes to master your craft, be relentless and the money worries will dissipate… Then quit your job!

Bringing it all together

It is easy to tell ourselves we can’t achieve… But when you hear that voice in your head telling you that you are not good enough or you feel afraid of failing, tell yourself a different story, tell yourself you can. If you believe it, you can achieve it.

When Will You Decide To Become Great?

Everyday we get a little bit older. Everyday we lose another day of our future.

If we carry on doing the same  things as we did yesterday, in five years time we will still be in the same place we are right now.

Or, if you decide to, you can change your life for the better. It starts with making a commitment: “Fulfilment or nothing”.

Once you have made this commitment, you can then start climbing towards a successful and fulfilled life. You can stop taking the path of least resistance. You can stop doing the things that don’t bring you happiness. Instead, you can take the high road. Instead, you can take the road towards your destiny.

When you decide to commit to fulfilment, you will find yourself climbing higher and higher. You will become stronger, you will become the person you want to be, you will become the best version of you.

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence. Regardless of their chosen field of endeavour”

Vince Lombardi

So I urge you… Climb a little higher everyday. Climb just 1% higher and I promise you when you do this, every night before you go to sleep, you will be able to say “I did something great today”.

Please don’t misunderstand me, climbing to fulfilment won’t just be sunshine and rainbows. It will be hard, it will be scary, you will feel fear and on occasion heartache too.

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But if you keep on taking action everyday, you will learn from every hardship, from every disappointment and from every time you felt scared.

These moments will make you stronger. These moments prepare you for your destiny.

These moments are all worth it because when you commit to fulfilment, you will feel abundance, joy and ecstasy that is beyond words. Your life will take on a whole new level of success, happiness and fulfilment, just by climbing each day… even when it’s tough.

You will know the difficulties were worth it. You will know that you are worth it. You will know that you created your fulfilment. That you created your destiny.

You are the only problem you will ever have and you are your only solution.

It’s not your family.
It’s not your friends.
It’s not your job.
It’s not your boss, your circumstances or your luck.

It’s up to you.

Anything is possible when you know it is up to you.

What if?

What if you could change your life?

What if you could decide to be happy?

What if you could be the person you want to be?

What if you could choose love instead of fear?

What if you knew you were put on this planet for a reason?

What if giving to others made you feel amazing?

What if trusting others allowed you feel trusted?

What if you helped someone in need today?

What if you are not alone?

What if you could inspire someone?

What if you lived every moment to the fullest?

What if the only thing that is stopping you, is you?

What if your past didn’t effect your future?

What if you have a choice?

What if you deserve more?

What if you can be more?

What if you made more time for yourself?

What if you improved 1% everyday?

What if you focused completely on the things that are important to you?

What if you were capable of truly amazing things?

What if your failures only happened to make you more equipped for your successes?

What if you could live your dreams?

What if all you had to do was decide and then keep taking action until you won?

What if you knew you only had one life – Would you chase your dreams or would you compromise?

Never let a “What if” become a regret… Make them a reality.

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself

Common advice from motivational gurus and experts would normally go along the lines of; “Face your fears and overcome them”.

I think a little differently. I think fear is going to play a part of our lives, no matter what, and we should use it rather than try to remove it.

Fear is a deeply routed emotional state that was created, to help us avoid pain and danger. When fear is in full swing it is a great motivator… it increases heart-rate, boosts energy levels and can improve performance levels. That can be really useful if used in a situation where you need to avoid real and genuine danger!

The common problem we face, is that we attach the feelings of fear to things we have nothing to be fearful of… Things like failure.

If we are fearful of failing, rather than being a helpful feeling, fear can be destructive and debilitating. Fear of failing could easily stop us striving for success. Think about it for a moment – If you strive to be a success, then that means you will have to inevitably take some positive action. The problem is, whatever action you take is not guaranteed to be successful, so therefore taking action produces a risk of failing.

The risk of failing will create fear and as we know, fear will equip and motivate us brilliantly… However, it will be the wrong type of motivation, we will be motivated to not take the action we need to take in order to be successful!

That is not good news for any long-term success strategy.

Fear should not be connected to success or failure – If you currently do, only you can break this pattern.

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What are your rules on failure and success?

Take a moment or two to think about this – It is easy to dismiss this question, but when you give yourself the time and space to genuinely answer you might find some surprises.

What does it take to become a success? What does it take to become a failure?
Are the answers you give to those questions realistic? Are your answers based on fixed criteria (like an amount of money, a certain job or a specific event) or are they based on consistent growth and improvement?

Are the answers you gave, even your answers or are you trying to achieve someone else’s perception of success?

What should our rules be?

The most important aspect to remember is success and failure are both just a feeling… They are not a job, they are not an event and they are not an amount of money either!

You have complete access to your feelings at any given moment. It isn’t an external process, so things don’t have to happen to you in order for you to feel successful. It can be as simple as just deciding and then taking action towards growth.

You are free to decide your own rules on success – my advice? Choose growth and progression. Choose to be fearful of failing to take action rather than fearing the results of those actions.

Choose to feel the fear of failing to take action as much as possible!

Has the shit ever hit the fan in your life?

Have you ever gone for something and it’s not worked out? A promotion? Pay rise? Something else?

It happens to us all… It has happened to me more than most! The fact of the matter is that shit happens in everyone’s lives, EVERYONE’S…  Our lives will always have obstacles,will always have challenges and will always have people who tell us that we can’t be who we want to be.

If these things happen to us all, why do we think it is unique to us individually? How is it that when most of us experience these moments, we feel like the world is against us? We feel like giving up? We feel like it is impossible to succeed?

What if we decided to think differently?

What if we decided to perceive the obstacles and challenges in our lives differently?

What if we knew that the bad things that happen aren’t actually bad? What if we knew those challenges are here to help us?

The research shows that the difference between the people who thrive in life and those that struggle, is all about mindset. Most people when they hit a road-block, will quit, moan, blame and give-up. The people who thrive think different… They embrace, encourage and engage when challenged.

How do they do that?

“A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes.”Wade Boggs

Perception

It’s the starting point… how you see life and how you perceive problems, will define everything in your life. If you decide that problems are in your life so that you can overcome them, then that mindset will define your actions positively.

The problems in your life take on a whole new perspective, suddenly the world isn’t against you, instead it is providing an opportunity for you to develop. Suddenly something that was negative, can be exciting.

Action

The action you take will be absolutely determined and decided by your perception. If the world is against you and it’s impossible to succeed, then your actions will mirror that. If the problem you face is a great opportunity to grow, progress and learn… then your actions are going to be very different and much more positive.

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Inner-strength

There will always be stuff in your life that you can’t control… have the strength to let it go and move forward with the things you can control. The ability to identify what is out of your control, to remove emotional attachment from it and then to take action on what is in your control, is vital.

The worst possible thing you can do, to waste time, is by spending your time trying to influence factors that are completely out of your control. The inner-strength to move on without holding negativity takes practise, but is available to us all.

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That advice sounds reasonable, but can’t be that easy!

The bottom line is, it’s as easy or as hard as you decide it will be. It’s all a choice… how you perceive life and how you perceive problems. Will you thrive or just survive? It is all your choice.

Think about what stops you when problems arrive at your door:

Fear of failure?
Lack of motivation?
This always happens to me?

No matter what, it is your decision… fear? You decide… motivation? You decide… problems or opportunities? You decide.

Take accountability… decide to have the positive perception, the positive action and the powerful inner-strength.

I know this to be true because I have had dark times in my life, where I believed that the world was against me, that I was a failure and I couldn’t do it. It hurts me to say, but I crumbled in life.

I was lonely, negative and hopeless. I made bad decisions. I smoked, drank and ate to excess… being 3 stone overweight, smoking 40 cigarettes a day and 2 bottles of whiskey a week isn’t good for anyone!

At work, I took corporate roles I thought I had to, in order to show willing and progress within the company.. working in environments on tasks that ate at my soul.

I decided to live like this… I decided that this was the way to live my life… I decided that the problems I faced where insurmountable.

I wasn’t pursuing my dream… I didn’t even know what my dream was! I was just focused on my problems and filling the gap of fulfilment with smoke, alcohol and excessive eating!

Then I decided to change my mindset… I decided on who I wanted to be and what I must achieve. I focused on why I wanted this and what it would mean to me. I re-programmed my mind to ask different questions, to think differently about my problems.

Since then I have given up smoking and drinking. I now eat healthy and exercise. I am proud to say, I am also at a healthy body weight! Not only that, I changed my work life and now focus on 1-1 peak performance coaching, delivering seminars, writing books and developing training materials. I do all this so that hopefully I can support people around the world to become better leaders and improve the quality of their lives.

I am not telling you this to brag… I’m telling you this to allow you to see that you can change your mindset, you can change your life… If I can do it, you can too!

Living an exceptional life doesn’t happen by accident… there are lots of strategies, approaches and perceptions that will help… however it always starts with your choices.

When life throws challenges your way… how will you react?

Don’t Quit, Even When It All Goes Bad

How can we keep our vision and purpose alive when everything goes to crap? When the going gets tough? When we have no support? When we get rejected? When we get laughed at? When circumstances change against us? When our dream seems so far away from reality, it’s hard to believe it could ever be achieved?

It is a fact, that EVERYONE you believe has achieved success in their lives, has had tough times, has been rejected, has lost, has been told they are not good enough… To achieve massive success you have to get through those challenges… It is the price of success!

In my career I have had struggles… probably more than most, I seem to proactively seek challenge and adversity in my life! From being rejected from jobs, being made redundant… to being told my biggest strengths should be toned down… I have been told that I shouldn’t communicate with the passion and purpose I do…. Recently I have been laughed at, criticised and told I am not good enough to write post’s like this…

Yet I still have my dreams… I still work towards my purpose… harder and more focused than ever. This is because I feel the adversity is there to prepare me, to grow me, to make me the person I want to become.

Here are the facts – Hard times will come… You will struggle… Sometimes you will fail… Other people will criticise and say you can’t.

These things will happen… These things also have zero relevance to you being able to live an exceptional life and becoming the person of your dreams!

How you define struggle and tough times will ultimately determine if you give up on your dreams or if you push through.

Struggle is good – To be the person of your dreams takes a lot of work! It takes more to become more!

Embrace this truth – Success is not easy… it is not owed to you… it is not given out… Success, massive success can be achieved by you once you decide nothing will stop you, no matter what barriers present themselves.

“It ain’t about how hard you can hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward – Rocky Balboa

Here are four approaches that I try to stick to that help me to keep moving towards my goals, if you sometimes struggle to keep working towards your goals, maybe they can help you too:

Visualise to materialise

This is obvious and you have probably heard this before, but do you do it? See, feel, hear, touch, taste, understand and live though the moments you want to achieve.

Don’t just visualise the magic moments though… It is good and useful to imagine and visualise the winning post, the fanfare and all those amazing feelings you will get once you achieve your dreams

HOWEVER… Don’t forget to visualise the tough times too and even more importantly how you will grow, focus and drive through these tough times! Visualisation is about preparation… prepare for the whole journey rather than just the end goal.

A good example is a marathon runner… visualising the finish line is important and positive… it is also equally important to visualise the 13 mile mark and how you pull on your inner strength to push through the pain barrier! Can you see how the runner who visualised the whole journey is better prepared for the whole run?

This is solid advice that you have probably been aware of before now… Now is the time to start practising it! Spend some time visualising your purpose, your exceptional life… visualise the whole journey – the struggles, the knock-backs, the pain and visualise how you will overcome them, how you will make your decisions and how you will boost your energy and passion in these tough times AND then visualise every detail of how amazing your life will be when you get there…!

Research your vision!

In this day and age, the majority of people tend to be lazy in regards to finding out how to make their dreams a reality. If you honestly, truly must achieve your exceptional life, then learn how to get it!

Whatever you want in your life, there are people who have achieved what you want – there are literally blueprints to create your exceptional life! You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Research those who have achieved what you want and role model there behaviours/strategies!

This isn’t about reading one book or the odd blog post – this is reading every book you can find on the topic – every blog you can find too – watch videos – go to seminars – interview the people who have been successful at what you want to become.

The more you fill your mind with the strategies of those you deem successful, the more you will understand how to create your own exceptional life! You can effectively stand on the shoulders of giants and propel yourself to the next level in your life!

Take action everyday!

If you take actions towards your dreams each and everyday, you will get a little bit closer each time… over the course of time, those little steps will turn into significant strides.
An example is writing a book – If you wrote one paragraph everyday, then you would be significantly closer to having written your book a year later – agree?

It is a basic equation – take action towards your dreams everyday = progress towards achieving your dreams!

If you can take action everyday… even just small action… even when the times get tough… you will get closer to achieving your dreams, than if you don’t take any action at all.
So… contribute everyday, take action everyday, focus on your dreams everyday… You will make your dreams a reality!

Build a feedback network around you

It’s a great idea to test your ideas and get feedback before you takeaway the safety net… Having a network that provides feedback before you take action in the real world, is beneficial… Getting feedback on the actions you will take can make you more productive, more self-aware and more focused on the actions that will make the most difference.
The key factor is that you must control who this feedback network is… choose the people you trust to be honest, the people who have your progress as their focus, rather than any other agenda.

You will have enough rejection and people who produce barriers for their own gains in your journey… you don’t need these people in your feedback network.

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The only person who makes your dreams a reality is you!

I gave up on my dreams earlier in my life – I lost myself, I lost my hope, I just waded through life – hoping I would stumble on the “real me” one day, I let unimportant peoples’ opinions become me… DON’T DO IT!

It is a waste of time and a waste of life… living an exceptional life is something you choose… you have to fight for it, you have to work hard… it is worth it, I promise you!
The person of your dreams is already here – You have total access to that person now!

Don’t give up on your purpose, even when it’s tough.