How To Deal with jealousy

I once knew this man who got jealous of his work colleagues every time they were rewarded, recognised, given extra responsibility or promoted.

Oh who am I kidding… that man was me.

I don’t know why, but at the time jealousy burned me up all of the time.

The problem is jealousy is an nasty creature – even when you try to hide it from others, it negatively impacts those around you.  

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Now I know you are probably not as bad as I was… but if you look closely you will likely find a hint of jealousy inside you about someone at work.

Does someone always get the credit? Who is that blue-eyed boy or girl that can’t do any wrong? I mean, you work just as hard as they do… probably harder… why aren’t you seen like they are?

Jealousy is a horrid thing, it creeps up on us and it serves NOBODY… especially not you.

Here is how to rid it from your life:

It’s not jealousy, it’s fear

Fear has lots of different disguises and jealousy is one of its favourites. In this form it will either be one of two things:

Personal insecurity or unfair comparison.

Either way it boils down to a fear that you are not good enough. Comparing yourself to others can be useful to measure progress, but when it is used to decide if you are worthy, it is venom.

Once you understand and take accountability that jealousy is really your fear, then you can identify what you are fearful of. Don’t avoid it… fear feeds off that.

Instead identify it and start making small steps to shrink it. The bottom line is that fear will always play a part in your life – how you respond is what defines you – will you let fear cause you pain or will you take responsibility and ensure you take your fears head on?

You deserve some credit… From yourself!

Do you give yourself credit for how amazing you are?

Take a moment to look back through your life… all the challenges, disappointments, successes and compliments… you have got through the tough times and you have created some good times.

That deserves some credit – That deserves some appreciation. Give yourself the recognition you deserve.

You are stronger than you realise. Promise-Me-Youll-Always-Rememeber-That-Youre-Braver-Than-You-Believe-Stronger-Than-You-Seem-Smarter-Than-You-Think-Winnie-the-Pooh-Quote

When you give yourself permission to look back on your life and acknowledge how much you have been through and how special you truly are, then you will begin to worry less about others perceived achievements because you know you have achieved amazing things too.

Give genuine best wishes to all

Life is not about being better than anyone else… Life about being the best version of you.

Focus on development, focus on growth, focus on learning from others. When you do this you realise that you can learn from everyone and everything – and while you are learning you are getting better, which in turn gets you one step closer to being the best version of you.

The best version of you isn’t in competition with others – the best version of you wants everyone to do well. If someone gets a promotion over you… the best you would wish that person well and want to learn from them – not feel angry, jealous and sour inside.

You might think that this isn’t possible, because some people just don’t deserve success… I ask you, who is jealousy serving?

Does it make you feel good?
Does it stop the target of your jealousy?

Jealousy is like drinking poison and then hoping your enemy will die… It just doesn’t work!

You know that being happy for others and focusing your energy on personal growth is the better way forward – choose it.

Putting it all together

Jealousy is an ugly, hurtful feeling… which only effects you.

Look under the skin of jealousy and you will find fear and vulnerability – Identify this, accept this and face this. You can beat fear this way.

Also give yourself some well-earned credit – you have been through a lot and you are still going strong!

Finally, switch your focus from “they don’t deserve” to a “I must improve” mentality…

The ONLY thing you have in your control is your emotions, thoughts and actions… use them to benefit you, not to harm you!

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4 thoughts on “How To Deal with jealousy

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