Almost everyone has, at some point, been hurt, rejected, dismissed and treated badly. When this happens many of us then find it hard to believe and trust in people again.
If you have ever felt like this, then here are 4 strategies that will allow you to stay positive and get the best out of all of your relationships... Even if it seems as though you are surrounded by people who have hurt you, let you down or broken your heart.
Trust is a biological need
The science is clear… Trust and connection are critical factors in human existence. This is not my opinion, this is proven scientific fact. We are literally biologically forced to connect with others, because we are stronger together.
If you allow a few people to make you lose faith in that, then you are only hurting yourself.
Branding the entire human race as cruel and nasty because of a few people is ridiculous. Think about it… there are 7 billion people on this planet – all of which have a biological need to connect with others. Don’t let a couple of idiots ruin your perception of how many great people there are in the world.
Acknowledge people are just like you
We only ever get to see our perspective of life and it is easy to think we are alone in our struggle. The truth is everyone struggles.
Some find it hard just to get through the day, others are frustrated because they can’t chase their dreams, many are worried about how they can support their families, scared of what others think about them. The lists are endless, but the ultimate truth is that everybody is struggling somehow.
It is so important that you understand this. If you ever get to a place where you think your situation is so special and unique that nobody can ever understand you – You are in a bad place and, more importantly, you are wrong. You have more in common with others than you realise.
By saying that nobody could ever understand you, all you are doing is freezing yourself out of relationships.
If you freeze yourself out, then nobody will understand you because you won’t let them, NOT because they can’t. That is your doing… not theirs.
Stop building walls
Once you have been hurt, it is tempting to create emotional barriers and walls to stop you getting hurt again.
Been hurt in love? Create barriers that make it difficult for you to fall in love again… so in theory, you won’t get hurt again.
Hopefully you can see the problem with this tactic. Barriers and walls stop you feeling positive and wonderful emotions. Emotions you need and desire.
Barriers and walls keep the bad guys out, but they also fend off the good guys too.
Walls solve nothing, they just deny you what you want most and they also hurt other people… good people.
The brave thing to do is to brake down your walls and allow yourself to live. I can’t promise you that you will never get hurt again, but by allowing those positive emotions in, it does mean you will experience 10x the love, joy, happiness and trust than you would if you lock everything out.
Most people have walls… break down yours, break down theirs… with love, with joy, with trust and your life will become abundant.
Birds of a feather
This last strategy is so simple, but also the most effective – Remove negative people from your life and increase the amount of positive people.
Positive people are supportive, caring and helpful… There are billions of these types of people across the world, literally billions!
They will help you grow, develop and become the best version of you, so seek them out.
Yes there are mean people in the world, but they are not the majority… You don’t have to have them in your life. It is a choice, make one that improves the quality of your life.
Putting it all together
There are mean people and when you get hurt, it is tempting to turn your back on the world and lose trust in people.
Don’t, mean people are in the minority.
You have a biological need to connect with others – If you deny yourself this, you are only hurting yourself.
You are not the only person who is struggling. Understanding this truth will allow you to have more empathy for those around you.
Stop building walls – You deny yourself the emotions you most desire when you create barriers – don’t deny yourself love, joy, happiness and trust.
Choose to build relationships with positive people. There are loads of them out there!