When I look at the people who I perceive at totally successful… The ones that have it all… They all emit an aura of certainty… They are in absolute control.
How on earth do they do that??
The question on my mind is can any of us ooze confidence? Can anybody be as successful?
I have spent the last 10 years researching this and the good news is YES!… Throughout all the literature I have read, seminars I have attended and interviews I have conducted, there are 3 consistently common themes that, if we master, we can create an unbreakable confidence and certainty in our lives… I can testify to these strategies, as I have had my own battle with low self-confidence.
“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” Barrie Davenport
What we give our attention to defines us.
In our lives our attention can be drawn to a multitude of different points – On one side we have external stimulus… such as actions of others and past events.
On the other side we have internal stimulus… this is the meaning we give to life, the WHY we do WHAT we do.
If we spend all of our time with our attention on the past or what is missing in our lives or the actions of others being unfair to us (basically the things we can’t control) – one thing is for sure, we won’t have certainty in our lives… in fact we are more likely to have depression!
However, if we spend our attention on the things in our control, such as, self development, gratitude and the person WHO we will become, we create something called a VISION… we become VISIONARY!
The more time we explore who we are, who we will become and why we do what we do… the stronger our vision becomes… We have all had a vision at some point in our lives, yet for most of us some stuff happened that shook our belief… and most of us gave up on our vision.
The past does not equal the future… You can claim your vision back… Dare to dream again!
Effective use of your Physiology
It is an obvious point, but often neglected… How we use our bodies has a direct impact on our mood, perception and state.
When we change the way we move, breathe, use our voice… it will change the way we feel. This isn’t some fluffy theory that has been made up – differences in breath, movement and tone create and produce different chemicals in our bodies. These chemicals then make us feel the associated feelings!
If we want to feel certain… it easy! Just remember the time in your life when you were absolutely certain (you have one!!). Now look, think and feel how you were breathing… how you were moving… how you were speaking.
Try to visualise and feel that moment… step into it… feel the changes as you hold your body in that state of certainty. Notice your breathing, is it fast and shallow? Deep and slow? How do you talk? Is it clear, concise and forthright? Or is it…erm…ah…a… little bit….erm… you know…erm…
Remember you at your most certain… If you can put your focus on repeating those physical patterns, you WILL feel more certain.
Being in a state of certainty isn’t something your born with… It is something that can be trained.
If you hunch your shoulders all day, shuffling around, with your head low and your voice even lower…. are you going to feel absolutely certain? Of course not!
Train yourself to move, breathe and speak like you are certain and you will feel more certain everyday!(This really helps with those times when things happen to shake your vision… if you can make yourself feel certain in those moments – you will survive with your vision intact… maybe even bigger!)
Commit to build momentum
Find your vision… Use your body to get to a level of focus and attention that gets you excited… that gets you passionate…Then commit and take action towards that vision!
Don’t be scared of failure, guaranteeing success is not in our control… Make the commitment to do whatever it takes – if we fail, that is OK, we just have to learn from it, adapt from it, get better from it and take more effective action next time.
Committing and failing is better than not committing at all… because if we don’t commit, we never find anything out!
When we do commit, we find out if the action we took worked or not – This puts us instantly ahead of those that don’t do anything!
Also… the more we commit… the better we become at deciding on the right actions!
In summary, to attain total confidence in our lives we need to:
- Give our attention to our vision
- Use our bodies to enable us have the energy we need to create our dreams
- Commit, learn and commit
If you don’t commit to these areas, then your vision will die – most people don’t commit… don’t be most people!