Quit trying to make a great first impression

In our ultra competitive world, every opportunity to impress counts… especially with those you meet in positions of power within your world.

The pressure is on… How will you be perceived? Will you be funny? Intelligent? Insightful? Confident? Boring? Stupid? Shy? Or even worse arrogant?

What do they want to hear? What will they be interested in? What type of person do they connect with? Do they want to talk business? Small talk? What if they….


How on earth can anyone make a good first impression when they have all that going through their mind?

They can’t… YOU can’t

When we put so much energy into focusing on what you cannot control it will dilute the authentic you… Think about when you are at your absolute best… were you thinking of all the things you should and shouldn’t be doing or were you just in the moment? In flow?

Of course you weren’t second guessing everything… of course your mind wasn’t cluttered with a list of worries, actions and assumptions… So why deliberately clutter your mind when meeting someone for the first time?

When you divert your focus and attention you divert being in flow, you divert and distract yourself… a distracted version of you has less chance of that great first impression and is more exhausting too!

Below are 4 approaches you can take that will help make that great first impression… These aren’t “rules” of how to engage with others, more an attitude and philosophy you can utilise.

Don’t try to hard!

Simple advice, but effective… as previously explained, trying too hard will have the opposite effect you are after! All the energy and focus you will burn up while trying to second guess every comment, every movement, will literally drain you of all creativity, playfulness and energy.

That will equal a worse, fatigued and unenthusiastic version of you… That’s probably not the look you were going for!

The myths of first impressions are given far too much press – the fact of the matter is… you will not get promoted, get the sale, get the contract on the very first impression… even if it’s a great one! You will get those things via your capability, experience etc… First impressions are important… just not that important… it’s not life or death, stop acting like it is!

A good questions to ask yourself before interacting with someone new could be:

“If I KNEW the person I am about to meet thinks I am totally amazing already, how would I act?”

Utilise you physiology to create certainty

Being confident when making those first impressions is important… That is easier said than done though isn’t it?

Nope! You can create the feelings and emotions of absolute certainty at will… You can call them up at any given time. All you need to do is know how…

The key is in your physiology… The way you move, the way you hold yourself and even the way you breathe!

You can literally train yourself to feel good or feel bad… As legendary performance coach Tony Robbins says “motion creates emotion”


Lets play a game:

I want you to remember the worst working days ever… The day that everything went wrong and you seemed to upset or annoy everyone… you were rubbish at your job and your boss/client had literally just told you so… remember the details.

Think about how you felt that day… feel how you held your shoulders, see how you walked through a room, think about your breathing… was it fast? Slow? Deep? Shallow?

Now… lets get rid of all that negativity… How about the day you were absolutely unstoppable… You got the big deal, the promotion, delivered that presentation… and you did it in style! Nothing could stop you that day… everything you touched figuratively turned into gold!

Feel how you felt… Step into that feeling for a moment… How do you move? How do you walk? Talk? Breathe? That strong, fast, intelligent, capable you… see how you look, feel what you felt, think how you thought.

Did you see the difference? Feel the difference? Your physiology drives your emotional state… The differences might have only been small, but there were differences… recognise these.

If you want to feel certain… If you want to be confident… Step into the unstoppable you… hold your body like they do, breathe like they do, talk, walk and smile like they do…

You will feel more confident almost immediately!

Be curious

Another simple approach… Be interested in the person you are meeting. Show a genuine curiosity in who they are, what they do, how they feel…

There is nothing more appealing than someone who gives you their full attention, that is fully focused on you, who isn’t distracted from anything but you… In a genuine, caring and thoughtful way.

Think of the people in your life you get on with more than any others … Why do you you like them so much? Do they give you attention? Are they interested in you? Are they genuine and caring?

It is true for everyone.

When you meet people, just be interested in them. Give them your attention. Be curious to find out more.


Don’t have an agenda

If you expect to get a promotion or to strike a big deal etc on the first meeting, you will be focused on you and your agenda… this is the opposite to being curious… and gets the opposite reaction!

Remember a first impression is not life or death… you are meeting another human being for the first time. Don’t force anything onto them… get to know them…

What would you prefer when you first meet someone? A person who is absolutely focused on themselves and their message or someone who is friendly and interested in you as a person?

Want to make a great first impression… Quit trying, move with confidence, be curious and don’t push your agenda!

Images courtesy of at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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